2 times!

Now that I actually figured out how to do something in Photoshop....I am obsessed.

Before, it was "auto correct" "auto sharpen" "auto color correction" "auto lighting"

Its that I am just that fancy and know how to click 3 buttons to make rounded edges.

If I am not careful....I might just round edge all of my photos.

We had a Happy Halloween.

Our kid had an entourage of grandparents following her as she collected one piece of candy from each person she shyly said "trick or treat" to.

We ran into a 180 pound dog on our adventure. As a matter of fact...I feel like a 180 pound dog right now.

Stuffing your face with food and candy is not the fast track to a hot body.

I am on the spiraling out of control track...and I am screeching it to a halt tomorrow.

Dude, where are those peanut butter cups?

::yum::

Happy Halloween!

Here is my kid admiring the dressed up goose in front of her dance studio.

Also proud to announce that my computer illiterate self figured out how to do rounded corners in Photoshop.

I can hear you ooohing and ahhhing....yep...I am so smart.

Hope you have a very Happy Halloweenie!

Hoping my little fairy feels good enough to collect candy for her Mom tonight.

Boo!

This is Thriller....

My little side kick and I went shopping today. Michael Jackson's famed "Thriller" came on the radio. She was jamming. All in spirit for the big Halloween tomorrow.

Thought I would post pictures of the kiddo in her previous costume get ups. Something about children in costumes just cracks me up.

So, the pic above is the little dressed as a butterfly. In keeping with the "bug" theme we had going. She was a lady bug her first year.

Serious. I love this picture. Also makes me sad for our old home. I LOVED that place....just needed a little more room to spread our junk in.

Man, I always get off subject....

Back in line....so, I will put a picture up of the kiddo trick or treating tomorrow.

I can not wait to dress her up. This year involves a little makeup.....at least that is what I have planned. We all know how well plans mix with toddlers.

Happy Halloweenie

Trick or Treat!

Poor dog...

Poor Doodle the Poodle.

She is getting spayed today. Or as our family refers to it "getting your spayed taken out."

Someone in my family called it that when they were a kid....just kinda stuck.

Shorty took her and dropped her off at the vet this morning. It was right by his work...so, I didn't feel guilty for asking.

I did have to tell him 8 times "feet, face, tail, microchip, spay."

You know men.

So, I am at home today. All by myself. Minnie picks E up from school some days.

I have already gotten more done in 2 hours than I could have in 2 days.

Off to work.

Wanna come help?

cute kids

Could these kids be any cuter? Really, don't think so.

One thing I have never been is a "kid person."

I love my child more than anything in the world....but I have never been one to gush over kids.

Never was a good babysitter.

But, that's ok. Different strokes right?

But, I truly love all these kids. There are a few missing in the picture....but, they are the best group of kids around.

We had "Halloween" playgroup today. The lighting was bad. If they all stood up, I couldn't have seen their faces cause of the sun. SO, they sat. Then, you can't see the cute costumes...

A cowboy, a ballerina, an octopus, a flower princess fairy, another fairy, a butterfly, a UPS Driver, and a Pirate.

Serious cuteness.

Happy Halloween!

Get it together woman

So, I took the little one to her day school this morning.

Some days....I can manage to have myself dressed and all sparkly ready for the day when I take her to school.

Today was not one of those days.

I threw on my favorite jeans (the ones I wore yesterday) and a black pullover (imagine that) and my favorite baseball cap. I smeared a little Bobby Brown lip gloss over my lips that are as pale as my skin to make it look like I had some life in me.

So, as I am standing in the hall, I look down and remember we ate Mexican food last night. The refried bean stains on my pants were a clear reminder.

For anyone who has sat next to a toddler eating refried beans....I shouldn't have to say much more.

As I am leaving the building....rushing home to scrub my homely looking self, I see this other Mom.

She is holding hands with another toddler and carrying a 5 month old.

Fully decked out. Perfect jeans, perfect coat, perfect hair and makeup.

Here I am looking like I stepped off the back of a garbage truck. And I am only responsible for one kid.

I bet she got up at 430 am.

Setting an alarm next time.

Not so nice

Yuck. It is 1:26 pm and I am typing this blog in my pajamas. Did I say yuck already?

And no, this picture is not representative of my night attire. Mine is actually worse.

On rainy days...the idea of staying home all day in your pajamas is so romantic. Let me stress the IDEA.

Come lunch time and you are all gross feeling....it isn't what it is cracked up to be.

I am neurotic about a few things. One of them being getting dressed. Unless I am so ill I can't get out of bed...I get up, shower, put on all my makeup, and may return to my comfy clothing choices...but, I am still "dressed"

My kid looks at me funny. Probably wondering why my hair is still plastered to the side of my head and why my old misshapen clothes hang so unflattering from my unexercised physique.

So, off to the shower I go. Powder, lipstick, shampoo, hair dryer, and my Target tshirt. They are calling my name.

Will feel like a new woman.

Well, kinda.

Halloweenie

This isn't the best picture of the kiddo....just showing off her new scoots. Have you ever seen such cute shoes? Ever? I haven't. Again....she had on nicer shoes than I did today.

Have been searching for those shoes forever. Finally. Some kids shoes these days...I tell ya....
We went to a neighborhood church today. They have an annual punkin' patch. Us Moms wanted pics of our littles all together. Let me tell you....no easy task.

The lighting was awful....but the kids are adorable.

Believe I took over 150 pictures....narrowed them down to about 30.

Happy Halloweenie. 1 more week!

Trick or Treat!

Mom? Is that you?

I am becoming my Mother.

Not saying it is a bad thing....but, I see it happening right before my eyes.

This morning, I got dressed...I looked in the mirror and wondered why was my Mother was looking back at me in the mirror.

My Mother is a really pretty woman. She always has been. Won most beautiful in her high school...and I can remember being mad when my high school boy friends (note not boyfriends) would say how "hot" my Mom was. Made me mad in fact.

That is not the part I am referring to. I am speaking of actions, thoughts, movements, and clothing choices.

Back in the day....I can remember asking my Mom why she didn't just go buy clothes. Not from Marshalls, or Ross, or TJ Maxx. She had the ability to shop wherever.....but, she bought Guess blue jean jackets for me instead.

So, here I sit in 10 year old pants, a 4 year old shirt, and a 5 year old denim jacket.

I would rather buy my kid the cutest outfit from Janie and Jack than buy something for me at Banana Republic. Really.

So, as I tied on my scarf and slipped my arms into my "always in style" denim jacket this morning, I think I truly understand where my Mom was coming from all those years.

Guess you just care more about your kid than you do yourself.

Don't get me wrong...I am still up for shopping....still up for caring what I look like....still up for being a little bit in style....but, I will just dig through my old stuff....wear those few things that will always be ok to wear and keep my girl looking cute.

I called Shorty to laugh with him on the phone about how old my pants were. He said "well, at least you can still wear pants you wore that long ago."

He has a point. They are presentable as long as no one can see the waist line. For 2 specific reasons.....the location on my body where the pants sit (no longer hip) and what my stomach looks like when they are buttoned.

So, here's to you Mom....I will forever be in white shirts, jean jackets, and sensible clothing.

Sweet.

All I want for Christmas is some clothes.... Because I feel guilty for buying for myself.

Yep...I am crazy....and I am a Mom.

Love you Minnie :)

Gold star

Have you ever seen a table full of such well behaved 2 and 3 year olds?

Since I brag on my kid on this blog all the time....figured I should brag on other kids too.

It's only fair.

We had our weekly play group today combined with a baby shower. One of our "mom friends" is expecting her third little one.

No, we are not at a resort....that is our friend's kitchen table with a lovely tropical backyard....

Pretty sure I could sit at that table and sip wine all afternoon.

Back to the subject....

Really...they are all such good little kids....they all have their moments....but, they all sit at the table....eat their food....everyone stays in their places....even when we take them out.

Except for the trip to Gooses Acre on the Waterway....not so much. But, we were in a restaurant full of business people at the height of lunch hour...maybe not the greatest place to take toddlers.

So, we enjoyed our day....

Off to fold laundry (story of my life) and whip up a Martha Stewart dinner.

Yes, the second part is my sarcasm again.

No, I am not funny.

Later....

learn early....

Yes, her pants are too big. Yet, she insists on wearing them.

Wish I had pants that were too big that I could wear.

We had company today. I made little E clean her room before they came over.

Of course, I plugged the vacuum in for her. I wouldn't ask her to do anything dangerous.

Have to start them early.

Now, get to work!

check....

Checked another "must do parenting item" off the list this weekend. Finally let the little help carve up the punkin'.

*Side note* Shorty is not a theme dresser. He did not wear an orange sweater in honor of punkin' carving....the man just likes orange....

So, Shorty and E drew the face on the orange fruit. (Yes, pumpkins are fruit...they have seeds)

I cut off the top and we started cleaning out the guts. The neat freak E would not put her hand in there. Too slimy and too nasty.

So, naturally...I got to clean it out. Shorty helped for a bit....then he found the bag of candy corns.

I had never carved a pumpkin before. We had a ceramic one. Now I see why. Much cleaner choice....but, a little less fun.

E was pretty enthralled with the punkin'. She sang happy birthday to it when we put the candle in.

Happy Halloween......almost.

Boo!

You are doing what?

For those of you who love the game of golf....nothing is better than a child at a golf tournament. Right? They are so quiet....great observers of the "silence" signs....and totally understand the rules.

We were those crazy parents who take their kids to golf tournaments today.

You know what? She was so good.

The top picture is Little E and one of her best little buddies....watching the first group come in off 18.

The other pic is of the little one in the media tent. One of our best friends took us in to show us behind the scenes.

Aside from the few stares we got....it was a great day.

In the tent on 18, there was a younger couple drinking a nice cold beer about 11 am. They didn't seem so thrilled with the 2 two year olds talking about the turtles swimming in the lake...asking if they were taking swimming lessons.

They weren't mean or anything....nor did they say a word. But, they just had that "I don't have any kids and I don't want to hang around kids" look on their face. You know the look I am talking about. Right?

As we were leaving....a man came by in a golf cart. He was an official with the tournament. He was also a black man. Emma blurted out "Hey look! There is Tiger Woods!"

Ahhh.....the observant little one.

FORE!

yum....

Seems like I haven't cooked in forever. It is sporadic when I do. Something going on....dinner out...dinner on the run....Shorty makes BBQ instead.

The other night...I made chicken, potatoes, mushrooms and I threw in a couple of artichokes. They weren't 10 bucks a piece like they usually are...so I took a couple home.

With the intention of Shorty and I eating them. Pretty sure the 2 year old wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot pole.

Well....I was as wrong as could be. She ate almost the entire thing and I hardly got to eat any.

Just thought it was funny.

Yes, this another irritating post. Look what my kid does....she eats artichokes.

Well, my life is kinda boring right now so I resort to showing off.

Sure hope something exciting happens soon.

Hurry!

The Infirmary

I skipped a day. Wednesday.

My poor Shorty was down and out. Sick. Big time.

He was in bed for almost 2 days straight. In all the years I have known him....I have never seen the man get in bed and stay there.

He made me worry.

So, needless to say....a sick husband, a 2 year old, and a puppy does not lend much time to type my silly little blog posts.

Too busy pouring Ginger Ale and serving saltines.

Seems as if the Shorty household is on the mend.

I disinfected everything today. Those handy Lysol wipes are my friend.

The entire surface of our king size bed was covered with laundry today. Almost got lost in it.

So, sorry for skipping a day and not giving you an insight into my incredibly interesting life.

Infirmary closed.

It will be here before you know it....

Love this picture...and I love Christmas time.

Christmas will be a whole new experience for the Shorty family....now that E is a little older...she can begin to understand what Christmas is really all about....

The stores....they are gearing up big time. I see Christmas trees popping up....lights....goofy figurines that are tacky beyond belief. But, hey...different strokes for different folks.

Whoops....got off track again.

It is already October 13th. I am beginning that promise to myself that I make each year. To be done with Christmas shopping before December 5th. So, we can actually enjoy the holiday instead of obsessing over presents. Then, you loose what Christmas is about. Because you are too busy.

This is the year. I am promising myself and typing it. Maybe that will work.

Fingers crossed!

notice a difference?

This is a shot from the pumpkin patch last year. It was one of the best shots I got.
1 1/2 year olds cooperate very well and follow instructions.
Not saying that 2 1/2 year olds do....but, what a difference a year makes!
A camera with a quicker shutter speed also might have something to do with it too.

Little easier to capture the moment.

The first 2 pics were the best I took last year. And the last 2 pics were the best I got this year.

The trip to the pumpkin patch was perfect. The weather was cool...cloudy....and chilly. My favorite weather.

The little one had fun on the train...posing for pictures and picking out a "punkin" to take home.

She is ready to "cook" it.

I love pumpkin seeds.

Pass the salt. Happy Fall Y'all.

see the birdie?

Yes, it's a little blurry....I took it through the window....wasn't about to go out in the sprinkles!

This little guy was hiding in the trees during our much anticipated rain this morning. A cold front is supposed to bring us some more seasonable weather. No more sweating in October please.

People who move here from other parts of the country always call Cardinals "red birds"

"Hey! Did you see that red bird out there?"

When we lived in Park City, UT....we ventured into Salt Lake to visit their zoo.

They had an exhibit that was supposed to mirror the southwest.

It was full of squirrels, foxes, snakes, turtles, and "red birds."

They had 2 Cardinals in the exhibit...a male and female. Both had their wings clipped and just stood there in the corner.

It made me sad.

As I have said before....I am no PETA member....but, those red birds don't belong in a zoo!

It's like putting a Mockingbird in the zoo. Who wants to see that?

People go to the zoo to see Elephants, Zebra, Sea Lions, and Flamingos. Not Cardinals.

As you can see....not much to blog about....just birds. Enjoying being boring.

THE video

As most of you know....I have been struggling with loading this video for a week.

Technical difficulties to say the least. 2 video cameras that don't work with my computer...but, I found a way around it.

IT WORKS! Hope you enjoy the little one singing her ABC's.

See....here I am....that parent everyone runs from at the playground....the show off parent. Oh well....I just can't help myself....

2 blogs in one day! I just couldn't wait.

A...B...C...D.....

The ghetto

Sure do hope the dirtbag that got into my car the other night is enjoying my iPods. Both of them.

Yes, I had 2. My original iPod that I lost years ago....and just recently found....and the new one I had replaced it with.

Losers.

My car was in our drive. It was the ONE night that I forgot to lock it.

They rummaged through my glove box (my car's iPod storage area AND waste basket) and took them....both of them.

It was an unnerving feeling. Someone had been in my stuff. No good.

They left my "trash" all over my front seat and left my glove box open.

Losers.

Happened to our neighbors too.

They only took my stuff...over looked wallets, briefcases, and equipment.

We called the cops and he said it was teenagers. Figures. Teenagers do everything wrong. Right?

I vividly remember being agitated with my parents when I was a teenager. I recall my Dad saying "Teenagers must have done it."

"How do you know Dad? Teenagers don't do everything."

Well...turns out again....your parents are always right.

Damn teenagers.....

At least I still have my music on the computer....so, I can put it on my phone. A good thing...cause the little is not a happy camper without her favorite Coldplay.

Lock your doors... teens are on the loose.....

100

Today... is my 100th post on this nerdy blog.

Today....I remain frustrated with modern technology.

Today...I am determined to make this computer and camera work in my favor.

Swimming in deep water and I am way out of my league in the computer world.

Seems as if I am closer....but, no cigar.

So, I sit here waiting for an email from some customer support center in a far off country while my daughter slumbers and my puppy chews on her favorite stuffed Chick fil a cow.

Yes, it is riveting.

There is laundry to do, dishes to wash, floors to vacuum, grocery lists to make, counters to clean, and toilets to scrub. But, figuring how to load video onto my incredibly irritating computer seems so much more important today.

So, Shorty will come home to a messy house, a slapped together dinner, and an empty sock drawer.

But, his wife is a little closer to figuring all this out.

My brain hurts.

I can't find my husband! HELP!

*REWARD*

Missing husband

Age - Early 30's

Height - 5'11''

Weight - 165 something

Hobbies - sports, sports, crossword puzzles, sports, Twittering, sports

Last seen - on Oct 5th at 9:00 pm laying on the couch. When he disappeared, I found this strange person in shiny shorts in my kitchen.

Anyone with information is asked to call. An undisclosed amount of money is on the table for his safe return.

So, last night....Shorty decides to bake a cake. No, I am not joking.

And, no, he had no clue I was taking this picture.

Apparently there was a recipe on line yesterday for a chocolate bundt cake made with a little red wine.

When Shorty wants something....he gets it right then. He will not wait. Never has. Just how he does things.

So, if I wouldn't have been home with a sick kid since Friday....he would in some way have talked me into making the cake for him.

Being the smart man that he is....he didn't ask and he made it all on his own.

The last time Shorty cooked anything without my help was in the first year that we were married. He had a job where he was home at 330 pm. I got home at 730. And, I was the one who cooked dinner. Yes, I know....crazy. So, one day I casually mentioned something that it would be nice if he could help out with dinner some nights....

So, the next day...I came home to frozen corn dogs (cooked of course) and nachos. By nachos, I mean some chips on a cookie sheet with shredded cheddar cheese. Yum. Are you drooling yet?

In the interest of my pre baby waist line....I thanked him for the dinner...and never complained again. I went back to cooking.

So, Shorty stepped up to the plate and made a cake. It was good.

I do feel sorry for him.

As most of you know....well....any of you that cook....how incredibly infuriating it is when a baked good does not come out the way it should.

The anxiety was building for Shorty as he inverted the bundt pan on the plate to remove his glorious chocolate concoction from its shell.....and there it was.

Half the cake in the pan....and half the cake on the plate.

He was mad. I felt his pain. The icing stains on my ceiling are proof that I too have lost my temper in the kitchen....

So, I showed him how to cut it, arrange it on a plate and decorate with powdered sugar.

Yum.

So, while I doubt I will see this person in my kitchen in basket ball shorts again anytime soon....it was nice while it lasted.

Well, kinda. Our kitchen is kinda my space and it makes me a little crazy when people are banging my stuff around.....but, I guess it is his stuff too.

I love cakes by Shorty.

Have you seen my husband?

I wish....

I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish my kid felt as good as she does in this picture right now.

The little one is still down and out....no more barking....just has a stomach bug.

Wish there was a bug spray I could give her....to make the bug go away.

She has watched more TV in the past 3 days than she has in her entire life.

Today, as she stood in her pj's stained with popsicle juice....she whines "Mommy, can I please get dressed?" "Are you going to get dressed?" "Can we PLEASE go somewhere?"

Think she has a touch of cabin fever? MMMMMMMMM.....I think I do too.

So, the little germ bug is asleep....I am getting my grouchy self dressed...and we are going for a car ride when she wakes up. A trip to Sonic for fresh lemonade always makes anyone feel better.

No more barking please.

dumb as a box of rocks

That is how those things make me feel. Computers make me feel dumb as a box of rocks.

See, all I was trying to do was load video onto our computer.

Yes, I have had a computer and a camera for a long time....I just have never needed video on the dang computer....but, now I do.

Seems as if our "older" 2 1/2 year old camera does not have the right equipment to upload onto a MAC or a PC. And seems if our "new" camera is not compatible with a MAC and the old PC we have is just too old.

I have both the computers out. 4 different cords, 2 different video cameras, 3 manuals, 2 sets of online instructions, and 3 bags of candy. Candy helps me think. When I think too hard, my jeans get too tight. So, I guess I just shouldn't think anymore.

Ok...I admit it. I have a shameful bragging video I wanted to upload of the kid.

Yes, one of those posts where I am subconsciously saying...."look everyone, look how smart my kid is!" Then, I turn into the parent everyone runs from at the playground.

So, maybe it is a blessing that I can't upload the video.

And, maybe I am just going to obsess over it until I figure it out.

I can feel my pants getting tighter as I think.

Getting dangerous over here. I am in technology overload.

My in laws....Shorty's parents....aka "Ganna and Papa" are two of the techiest people I know.

No joke, Papa has 18 computers, 17 printers, 12 scanners, 7 cell phones, 6 video cameras, and about 450 ft. of computer cable.

*those were slight exaggerations in the interest of a dorky blog

Ganna is 100% more computer literate than I am. Sometimes, when she tells me stuff about these darned computers....I just pretend that I know what she is talking about. You know...so I don't look stupid. "Oh really? Hmmmm...I wonder what the problem is?" That is what I say when she talks about them....reminds me....I am just not smarter than a 5th grader.

I always tease them and tell them to call me if they have any technical problems.....still waiting for the phone to ring.

Once upon a time....we moved across the country. My dumb self hooked up the computer all alone...with no help. Except from color coded cords. A 4th grader could have done it.

I called my in laws to share my elation that I had indeed hooked up the computer. They were impressed.....VERY impressed I am sure.

So, stay tuned for that annoying video. A bragging video of our kid.

I WILL figure this out.

Signed,

Mrs. Short

President of Geeks not on Call

I barked....

"OH NO! I barked in my bed! Help me Mommy!"

That statement rang across the airwaves of our Fisher Price monitor at 1 am.

My poor dear child had "barked" in her bed. If you haven't figured it out by now...she has a slight problem with the "F" sound. So, bark = barf.

It was the saddest thing. ::knock on wood:: our child has hardly been sick in her 2 and a half years.

This was only the 3rd time for her to bark....in her life.

It was everywhere....

So, I cleaned it up....bathed her and she went straight back to sleep.

Nothing makes me sadder that for someone to bark in their bed. Barking is one of the worst things anyway.

Rest, noodles, ginger ale, and Motrin make barking better.

Feel better little E.

when? where? what?

This is one of my most favorite pictures of the little one. Maybe my most favorite picture ever.

The day she was born. All 10 pounds and 1 ounce of her huge newborn self.

One of the happiest days ever.

So, before she was conceived, or ever thought about conceiving, people would ask. "When are you going to have a baby?" "Are you guys planning a family?" "Do you think you will ever have a baby?" "Do you guys want a baby?" "Do you like babies?" "Do you think you would like being a Mom?"

Think you get the picture here....lots of questions.

Used to drive me NUTS. We never told a soul that we were trying to have a baby. Don't know why...just didn't. I am not a huge fan of questions about family size...and I was well aware what that statement would lead to. "So, how is it going?" "Are you pregnant yet?"

Lord knows I don't like stress...and that would be just too much pressure.

What if it didn't work?

So, when you are dating....they ask "When are you getting married?"

When you are home unpacking from your honeymoon they ask, "When are you going to have a baby?"

And after your stitches are removed from your c section they ask, "When are you going to have brother or sister for that sweet baby girl?"

I try to never ask people questions like that....I try very hard. Yes, I know...people don't mean any harm.... But, it is just very personal.

During my sales training...we were always taught to ask people "How many people are there in your family?" Sometimes...people who want kids just can't have them.....they just don't want to be reminded of it. Or people want a certain number of children and don't want to be judged for it. Believe me...people judge you and react if they don't like what you have planned for yourself.

Family size is such an personal decision....if you want to have 20 kids and you have the means to provide....more power to you. And, don't feel sorry for me cause I am an only child.

Believe me...I am not sorry about it. I love it.

Ok......hmmmmmm.....can you tell I have something on my mind?

I love babies. And, don't ask me any questions about babies. Otherwise....ask away.