Charlotte, is that you?!

Can you identify the genius species of this particular Arachnid?  ~Jeopardy Music~ .........

Time is UP!  It is the Latrodectus mactans.   Or, more commonly referred to as the Southern Black Widow.

Shorty and I bought some White Oleanders to plant down at the beach house.  You know, something that would distract from the disheveled yard, weed infested lot, and just to make the post hurricane landscape look a little happier.    We picked out five three gallon plants and dug holes in the oyster filled sand.  It brightened up the place right away!  Nothing like a some green plants to distract from the collapsing homes around you. (That is another story another time)

So, as you all know...when you plant new stuff....you have to water it ALL THE TIME.  Oleanders are known for their "heartiness" and that is why we decided on them.    

So....while I am watering the new shrubs for the 3rd time in one day...I notice a strange looking critter on one of the leaves.  I then notice it is a spider...then I notice that it is red and black....mmmmm....could this be a BLACK WIDOW?  So, I knock the sucker off the leaf and try to flip it over to look for the infamous red hourglass.  Sure enough!  There it is!

I think to myself..."I really need a picture of this!"  You know....so I can put it on my blog. ;)

So, I yell up to Shorty there is a Black Widow...I run to get my point and shoot.....return to the scene and she is gone.  NICE!  My inability to do the responsible thing and just kill it is beginning to worry me.  Oh well.  It won't bother us.

So, a few hours go by and I go back to the home of the crazy venomous spider.  There she is!!  I yell upstairs for someone to come down and look.  With the camera of course.  ;)  Minnie comes down and helps me corral "Charlotte" so I could take her picture...then to of course squash her.

Got this grainy pic.  I couldn't get one of the hourglass.  

After reading about their bites...I am relieved I found her again and killed the dang spider.  

Also glad Shorty was there to remind me not to touch it.  If he wouldn't have told me...we would have had a new pet.  I just love to touch spiders.  ;)  

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Gone fishin'

First off...I want you to take a moment to marvel at the quality of this magnificent photo.

Little E and I had just arrived at the beach and we found Shorty reeling in a pretty nice sized Speckled Trout....maybe 15'' or so.  I whipped out my point and shoot camera....the heavy humidity fogged up the lens.  So, instead of working to unfog it while the poor fish gasped for oxygen....I just took what I could get.

Fishing is something I have always somewhat enjoyed.  My Dad is a HUGE fisherman and loves all things "Large Mouth Bass".....not so much saltwater.  I grew up baiting hooks with crickets, worms, and minnows...so, I have no problem baiting my own hook with a live wiggling shrimp.  I must admit I do feel a LITTLE sad when I poke the hook through their heads...then I remember the food chain lesson I learned in the  4th grade...then I forget about being sad and walk out into the surf to catch a huge fish.

Surf fishing was not something I did growing up.  Never did it until I met Shorty.  In all honesty...I was kind of scared to do it at first.  But, I didn't want to look like a chicken.  So, I hooked a bait bucket to my bikini (pre c section) and went wade fishing with the boys.  Just another reminder of my true redneck ways.

"Remember, shuffle your feet!"  Shorty tells me this every time we are walking out into the surf.  I guess there are some critters that can sting you...

I have caught a shark.  It was tiny.  I have been bumped in the shins by sharks...but, nothing that would bite you.  At least that is what they tell me.  

If I had to choose....I would choose fishing from a boat.  BUT, surf fishing IS kind of relaxing.  

Minnie came to hang with us at the beach.  She volunteered to come and help with the kid so Shorty and I could fish and do some work on the beach house.  DANG....was she ever helpful.   An extra set of hands for the world's busiest kid really helps out.

During one of our "fishing breaks" Shorty and I were out in the water...casting out our lines and I look up and there was a pod of dolphins.  No joke!  At first, the pointed dorsal fin made my knees weak and I almost went running for the shore...then I realized I was standing about 100 yards from dolphins...THAT was really cool.

Shorty won the tournament we had between the two of us...I DID catch one fish.  And lost countless others.  But, he walks out further than me.  That is my excuse. ;)  I will ONLY go in to my upper thighs or waist.  No more.   Not that it makes a difference...it just makes me feel safer for whatever reason.

Can't wait to take Little E fishing.  She did help Shorty reel in a fish...she "petted" it and helped her Dad release it.  So, take your kids fishing...or take yourself.  It really is relaxing.  Unless you don't catch fish...then, it goes from relaxing to frustrating.  ;)  

Don't forget your fishing license!  Happy fishing!

What is the point?

So, Shorty and I loaded up Little E and headed to the beach house.  It was kind of last minute.....as I was scrambling to get bags packed and clothes washed...I realized I didn't have time to update the blog for the millions of people who follow my every move.  

Light bulb!  I have an I Phone!  Surely I can type my blog and share all the riveting moments of our trip on my fancy phone!  Right?  So, I forgot sitting at the computer and figured I would tell my story via a weak Internet connection at the beach.

We all got settled.....got the kid to bed...I sat on the couch excited to tell a funny story.  I logged in, signed into my blog...attempted to type...and nothing.  The phone wouldn't put the cursor in the box!  I tried over and over and over.  

I figured my 1,654,732 followers would just have to wait.  I mean, I knew I was letting them down...but, I had been let down.....by technology.  What can a girl do?

On a positive note... ;)  I have some funny stories to tell.  So, stay tuned over the next week and I hope to make you laugh...or..."unfollow" ;)

Let down....

Well....Motley Crue rocked the house....I was completely amazed at their ability to scream that loud...I didn't know 50 somethings could do that.  Who knew?

My people watching habit was fulfilled....I had SO many people to stare at and wonder if they REALLY liked the way they looked when they left the house that day.  Seriously?

Our seats were perfection.  Box seats RIGHT in the middle...about 20 rows back.  Thanks to our friend...Dallas.  He is "the guy" who knows everyone and can get anything.  ;)

I was expecting crazy women showing their bare chests...people getting kicked out for smoking dope, fighting, and all sorts of stuff.  Boy, was I let down.  None of that...we sat next to a group of about 8 college frat boys...all in their early 40's.  They get together every year...this was their reunion.  And I was worried about Shorty's ensemble...these dudes looked like spokesmen for Brooks Brothers.  All they were missing was an argyle sweater tied over their shoulders.

Upon entering the venue, I did feel like I was about to enter a maximum security prison.  No purses allowed, no cameras, no nothing.  So I stuffed my pockets with my ID, the all important lip gloss and Shorty's keys.  I felt naked the whole night without my little pocket book.

So, I took this picture with Shorty's phone...I wish you could see it in more detail.  Those bright lights are fire rockets...such class!!  Those guys are straight up crazy.  But, no matter what your opinion of Motley Crue is...they are true entertainers.

Sorry to say...I have no scandalous news to report from the concert.  Just a slight ringing in my right ear.  

Smokin in the boys room!

You know you are singing it in your head.... "Smokin in the boys room....."

Shorty and I are off to see Motley Crue tonight.....can't wait for the music and of course my favorite pass time....people watching.  

Going with some friends of ours....we have lawn seats...as well as some box seats.  So, we will be going back and forth between.....6 of us and only 4 boxes...but....will be a perfect place to run down and see if any of the guys have had plastic surgery!  

I am a fan of Motley Crue....I like their "commercial" songs.  "Kickstart my heart" being one of my favorites.  It is my "you are almost finished with your run" song.  

 

Off to slide into my black leather pants.  I have some sweet lace up boots too....and I might even wear my leopard halter.

Had to consider wardrobe choices this year.  We went to see them about 9 years ago.  Shorty had just gotten back from the US Open at Pebble Beach.  He wore his Open tshirt and his starched Polo pleated golf shorts.  Needless to say....he stuck out like a sore thumb.  So, this time...with a little thought and planning....Shorty will blend into the crowd and we won't have to worry about getting our butts kicked.

Stay tuned....for some good stories!

Steve

 

His name is Steve.  He was our caddie at The Ocean Course on Sunday morning.   

He had been there, done that, and back again.

I was nervous to have a caddy...for whatever reason...think just because I had never had someone carry my clubs.  I mean, I can carry my own...but, that is what you are supposed to do there.

So, we met Steve.  He was in his 50's...a New Yorker that had relocated down to SC.  He was a jack of all trades.  An excellent caddy, a fly fishing guide, a good golfer, an avid photographer, retired from The United States Navy, visited every continent on our planet, and just knew a little bit about everything.

Some of his stories were almost unbelievable.  I mean, they were true...I just couldn't believe it had happened.  Figured that he had caddied for lots of strange folks...I think people come from all over just to play this course.

He told us about this group of men who were drinking themselves into oblivion while they were playing golf.  They had loaded their bags down with beer...and Steve was lugging it around while they slopped the ball around the course.  One of the dudes got so drunk, he ripped off his clothes told his buddies he was going into the ocean...he ran naked across the course and jumped in the water.  Told them he would meet them on 18.  Sure enough...here comes the drunken idiot naked and running out of the water to greet his equally stupid friends on 18.  Little did he know they cops were waiting for him.  

So, Steve kept us entertained with stories about life, golf, and stupid people.   

We requested him the second time we played.  He was either off or hiding from us.  Next time we go...we will be sure to ask for Steve.  

Lucky duck!

Have you been going through withdraws without your daily dose of a Short Story?  

Just got home from a trip to Kiawah Island, SC....or, as I commonly referred to it as "La La Land."  What a cool part of our great country....but the little island itself....it felt like you were in some sort of utopia.  Everyone rode on bikes with wicker baskets on the front, nothing was out of place, it was almost just too perfect.  There were times when I thought a photographer would jump out of the bushes to finish his shoot for a Ralph Lauren print add.  You know the add I am talking about.....an unrealistically beautiful family dressed in pink plaid while they play touch football on an incredibly impeccable manicured lawn. 

So...must be the reason so many people flock there to relax, eat, swim, spa, and golf.  It makes you totally forget about reality.  Just what a vacation is about.

In my usual obsessive style, I called the resort the day before just to make sure all was good, ask a few questions about our package...just trying to minimize any surprises on our arrival day.

We had initially booked a "resort villa" instead of staying at the hotel.  After I asked questions...I realized we would be better off at the hotel.  I was sure there wouldn't be any rooms left.  But, I had to check.  There were 3 choices.  Garden view- sold out.  Dunes view- too expensive. And Ocean view- out of the question.  Before we hung up...the sweet Southern woman on the other end of the phone offered to book a Dunes view at the lower price.  I accepted and was delighted...I scored a deal!

So, Shorty and I arrive Friday afternoon.  Walk up to the desk and the Southern Belle behind the desk informed us that we had been upgraded to an Ocean view room at no cost.

So, the picture at the top is the view from our room.  We were on the 5th floor right in the center of the hotel looking onto the Atlantic.  Couldn't have been any better.  

Perfect vacation in a more than perfect place.