Is THIS real?

Nerves. They get the best of you sometimes. Imagine yourself walking down Hollywood Boulevard....just minding your own business....and your all time favorite actor came up to you.

What would you say? What would you do? Would you pull your hair out to the side and become speechless at the sight of your beloved idol?

Or, would you avoid eye contact while you mustered up the guts to actually talk to your idol face to face?
As your meeting time progresses....you loose a little bit of your nervous energy and embrace the fact that you really do want to meet these people...and you need to relax just a bit.
Even if showing only your bottom row of teeth is the best you can do.
Then, you get the hang of it and realize how cool this really is. You have been talking about it all day and you KNOW you WANT to talk to these ladies...you just have to break the ice
And smile....and ask them to sign your autograph book....and tell them that you love their movies
And when they invite you to breakfast with them....be sure to wear your ball gown and your satin purse. And of course....your autograph book.
And always remember the day that Snow White came to see you while you were eating breakfast.

And they lived happily ever after........

Worried

Today....I had a revelation. I have had the same one before....but, today....it was a huge revelation.

I am so stupid when it comes to math.

I know...I know...."anyone can do it...it's all a matter of choice and effort."

Well, to be frank...I don't CARE about it...my brain does not work that way...and I am glad.

Today...the kid and I were running errands and I needed a simple math answer.

In the interest of my self esteem, I will not disclose the ease of the math debacle.

There I stood....racking my brain over the stupidest thing. The calculator gave me the answer...and I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed in front of myself.

What a moron.

So..I hope my kid inherited the desire to do math. Most of the people on Shorty's side have it...and my Dad does...so let's just hope for "strength in numbers."

In more ways than one.

So when she comes home in 2nd grade...with homework....she will have already learned to ask Shorty.

Good thing I know how to use the microwave and oven.

See, we all have a purpose in this world.

"Pi R Squared"

Bird brain

"HURRY! Grab my camera, quick!"

"WAIT! No, don't touch my camera!"

What was I thinking? Hey there almost 3 year old....will you run in the house and grab my real darn fancy camera and change the lens to the zoom?

The excitement of seeing 800,015 birds in my yard had me a little loopy for a moment.

So, I realized I was the only one capable of grabbing my camera....and by time I got back outside...the bird that I wanted a picture of was gone.

Instead I got a real nice blurry picture of a Goldfinch eating a bug. Horrid lighting and could the picture BE any blurrier?

And Mr. Robin. Hopefully a sign of Spring.

I LOVE cold weather. Mainly because I love the clothes....but, I must admit. I am ready for warmer days.

Think it's because of the kid. And the dog.

Walks aren't fun when it is 30. And the slide isn't great when its 42.

So...I welcome warmer days with open arms.

Maybe one day that Cedar Waxwing will come back so I can take it's picture.

Maybe my kid will be quicker on her feet and learn how to get my camera, change lenses, and charge the battery.

That's why you have kids....right? To get stuff for you?

"Hey! Will you bring me the remote?"

"Thanks."

Ain't so cute....

Awww....honey, look at the baby deer! Isn't she sweet?

NO. She isn't.

She carries parasites....fleas, ticks, germs, and lots of other YUCK.

So my dog's intestinal parasite is caused from an infected deer. Deer come in our front yard almost nightly.....and leave a huge pile of mess to clean up.

I think Shorty and I may sit on our porch tonight. He can use his bow and arrow and I will use the shotgun....I'm not good enough at aiming to use the bow.

Goin' huntin.

To be more specific...the parasite isn't a worm with teeth or anything...it is a single cell organism that invades their stomachs.

Lovely.

So, I get to put this powder business on her food, inject banana flavored liquid down her throat, and stuff a pill wrapped in cheese in her mouth...all 2 times a day.

Sounds fun!

She is better....we are glad...and so is she.

Deer jerky, anyone?

Blech.

Usually...I blog every day. Well, at least during the week. If I don't. My Mom and aunt ask..."where is your blog."

Well, to my millions of fans...I was busy yesterday.

My dog was sick.

We took her to the vet...

Animal Hospital of The Woodlands. Love them.

They kept her overnight to monitor her....and only charged $25.00.

I was relieved. Didn't want to have to clean up a mess like that again....poor Doodle the Poodle.

Turns out she has some sort of intestinal parasite. Blech.

They gave her something for it and said it would take care of it.

It's always something....

But hey, that is what keeps you on your toes.

Off to pick Doodle the Poodle up.

My kid is thrilled beyond belief.

For 2 reasons.

#1 - We are getting Doodle back

#2 - She gets to help herself to her own water from the Ozarka cooler at the vet.

It's the little things that are so important.

And, if you are wondering....that picture....shows some sort of parasite. Not sure what....but, in my eyes...they are all the same.

Ewwwwww......

Its a small world....

One of the rides I remember from Disney World. That and getting stuck at the top of the huge "golf ball" at Epcot and having to walk down what felt like 167 flights of stairs.

We are taking the kid to Disney World.

She still gets in free....good thing considering daily tickets are $80 bucks a person.

Aren't we still finishing a downturn in one of the worst recessions in our country's history?

And Disney still charges $350 bucks a night for a fancy Motel 6 room?

We opted to stay "off campus" and we are getting a great deal. All about deals...right?

I am charging my camera batteries....video & still.

Wonder what Cinderella eats for breakfast?

Hope pancakes!

Doodle the Poodle

Took this picture of Doodle the Poodle today. It is out of focus a little...but, for whatever reason I like it.

Just wanted to share her new "do."

She was watching the yard men across the street...she is the resident guard dog.

Good dog.

Gag me with a spoon....

All rules are thrown out the window when you are sick.

You can do pretty much anything within reason.

Eat wherever you want, lay on the couch all day long, get jelly beans after you take your medicine, and watch movies....one after the other.

We are on day 5 of sickness.

We made a quick dash to grab a few new movies and my child insisted on "Barbie Princess"

Lord help me. I am fine with all the Disney Princesses....because I liked them when I was little...but, Barbie AND princess...all in one....

Kinda joking...I am glad she likes it. Well, I guess I am. Could be worse.

She asked Shorty to be her prince the other night. She put on her dress and said "Daddy...will you be my prince?"

Ok...enough of that mushy stuff....

Wonder when she is old enough for Sponge Bob.

Yes, I am kidding.

Off to watch glittery, sparkly, jewel encrusted, fairytale land, magical spell filled, all things pink, flashy diamond, Barbie princess world.

Good thing she is into stuff that is so "real world"

My brain is melting....

I love Cinderella...and I love Barbie.

OUCH!

Ear infections hurt...and so does the cost of prescription drugs.

Boy, I sound like an old person...

My poor kid has her first ear infection. The doc wrote a script for an antibiotic....just a run of the mill one...but, he wrote it in a way that the pharmacy couldn't fill it with the generic alternative.

"That will be $185.67, please" when I heard this thru the speaker phone in the oh so convenient drive thru...I thought she was talking to the wrong person.

So, we had to call the doctor so we could get the same medicine...except in generic form.

We are one of the lucky few who pay a bizillion dollors a month for a bizillion dollar deductible.

Not complaining about health care here....

Just stating the facts ma'am....just the facts.

So, waiting to go back to get the generic stuff....so my kids ears will heal.

Bless her little heart.

Tick tock....

Will someone please take my temperature? I believe I have cabin fever.

Thank goodness I don't live in a log cabin....even as idyllic as this one seems....

We go somewhere almost every day. Even if it is just to Walgreens....that is going somewhere to us.

The little one has been running a low grade fever since Monday morning...and we are now on our 3rd day inside.

We watched two Disney Classics today...Snow White and Alice in Wonderland.

Thank God for princesses....they make sick little girls smile and lay still.

Get well soon kid....

We have to get to Target....

Advertising....

Advertising is one of the most important aspects of a business that involves selling, promoting, branding, networking, etc.....

NASCAR is full of advertising....and so is the BBQ world.

See...I TOLD you that NASCAR and BBQ went hand in hand.

So Shorty and I told "The Big Green Egg" company about his adventures in "I'm a Big Bad Boy Smoker World" this passed weekend....and how he beat 75% of those TUFF dudes.

They are sending him a banner. And brochures...all about "The Big Green Egg"...so Shorty can be the spokesperson for them in the parking lot....I mean....on site!

If I go next time, I think I might get a pair of green short shorts, and a REAL tight green tshirt. You know...to help promote the product! Hey, it's how NASCAR does it...and apparently it works real darn well.

All sarcasm aside...I think that is pretty cool...maybe next time, they will provide a tent, food, beer, and a hotel room.

Way to go Shorty! :)

Mommy? Who is that?

Being home with a kiddo who is a little under the weather calls for a bit of creativity to keep them engaged...without playing too hard...and without just making them stare at the TV all day.

The little one has always been intrigued by home videos. She loves to watch herself...especially as a baby.

So today...I sat on the floor, pen in hand, and planned to watch old DVD movies and actually document what was what on the DVD case.

Low and behold...the first one I grabbed was from her coming home from the hospital.

The first shot came on....my back was to the camera...and I turned around...and my kid says....

"Mommy, Who is that?" Talking about me. Then I started talking and she seemed confused.

And in the video...my Mom kept saying "You look great...your swelling has really gone down."

Really?! She thought I looked great? Wow...

I hardly recognized myself. No wonder my own kid didn't know who I was.

Poor thing.

THE cookoff

It all started on a sunny Friday....we loaded up Shorty's SUV with stuff and hit the road....all the way to the Humble Civic Center.....about 45 minutes from Home Sweet Home.

When we pulled up....I just stared laughing. Couldn't help it. Like really laughing...not just a giggle. We stuck out like sore thumbs. You could play "What doesn't belong in this picture" and people would get the answer right...US. We didn't belong.

A few of the ingredients all put together.....
Had to bring my "Allison Transmission" hat to the cookoff. Nothing says county quite like machinery manufactures printed on the front of baseball hats. The hat is on my sleeping bag. Yes, we slept in sleeping bags. Now that is something I haven't done since I was 8.
Friday was all setting up and preparing for Saturday morning. A meat inspector came around Friday evening to check your goods....then you could start seasoning Friday at 6. Serious business here people....
Going to have to say that I never in a million years thought I would be sitting in an RV with my husband....while he was a contestant in a cookoff...all while enjoying the scenery of 18 wheelers and petting zoos.

Here are a few pictures from the RV. Now you listen here, it was a 2010 year model and that sucker was clean as a whistle. Until I spilled powered sugar everywhere...
This bathroom is for anyone who weighs less than 170 pounds. It was tiny. Clean, but itty bitty.

Being the person I am...I had to take a shower Saturday morning. I turned on the water pump...the water heater and took the World's fastest shower. Too bad I almost drained the entire water supply with a 45 second shower.

But, to my defense...Shorty and I were kinda "Howard Hughesish" with the cutting boards and knives the day before. Lots of scrubbing and washing on Friday night. SO, I didn't use all the water.

The gourmet kitchen. Complete with stove, oven, microwave, and sink. Just missing that all important dishwasher.
Love this sticker. Nothing says redneck like KOOL AID. And, I love how they mark it as one of the top staining items.
Ah yes, the "Convenience Center" Water pump...ON! Generator...CHECK!
This is THE cooler. The one with all the loot in it. This cooler is about 4 feet long...kinda hard to tell in the picture...also provides a perfect place to sit while you WAIT. LOTS of waiting at cookoffs. Hurry UP and WAIT!
Shorty preparing is spare ribs for Saturday's competition. My favorite.
Nothing says beautiful like a sunset behind exhaust pumps from the biggest BBQ pit on the planet. This view was out of our RV door....don't be so jealous.
Saturday morning....Shorty ready with his Big Green Eggs...ready to show those other folks that a huge BBQ pit isn't the only way.
This is Karl. One of Gary's best friends. He came out early Saturday morning to "help" Shorty. Just like I "helped" Shorty. As you can see in this picture...Karl is on the all important "paper towel duty"

Here are Shorty's parents. Anne & Wayne. Ganna & Pappa.

They came out to "help" too. Wayne wore the necassary "Big Mouth Bass" baseball cap. He was smart...he wanted to fit in.
Here is one of the final products. Brisket. Shorty cooked ribs, brisket, and chicken. We got to taste all but the chicken. He only cooked one and had to turn in the entire thing. Those judges still owe me a bite.

After all the work was done...and most of the cleanup was finished....I went to get a funnel cake....kind of as a celebration. It was over...and now we had to wait.

Results were called at 6. I had to leave to get the little kiddo and the dog...but, Shorty's parents stayed around with him.

Over 105 teams...Shorty didn't win any trophies or ribbons...but he did win top 25 in ribs and chicken. So he did better than over 75% of those other cookers. All on two Green Eggs...

Needless to say he was happy....and, he plans to change his brisket recipe. Let the tasting begin.

But, I am going to have to say no to BBQ for a while...the smell of BBQ smoke has penetrated my lungs.

Way to go Shorty!

On the road again...

Will be channeling Waylon Jennings this weekend....and listening to Willie....

Living it up country style...BBQ, beer, and RV's.

Wait...did I just type that?

Hope I fit in...doubt my Anthropology crown neck sweater will match my Wranglers....but, that's ok.

So, stay tuned for some hilarious pictures...funny stories...and hopefully blue ribbons.

We're off to the cookoff....ya'll.

Unnerved

Unnerved....that is how I felt today.

Like someone had punched me in the stomach 18 times then made me hold my breath until the room was spinning.

It all happened so fast. You may think I overreacted....but, I couldn't help myself.

The kiddo and I had a lunch date with one of my dear friends and her little one today at noon.

We were meeting at this scrumptious leafy salad bar that my child has grown attached to. Not to mention she eats free.

We are approaching the turn and while I was sitting at the red light I get a notice that a woman was shot during an attempted car jacking....at the mall. The same place I was headed to.

I immediately called my friend. She did not answer. I worried just a little...because she always answers. She drives a fancy car...you know...my mind began to race.

The notice I got did not say a time...or place...so it was left to my imagination.

Helicopters were humming all above the car....and my palms got sweaty.

Called again...no answer.

The light changed and I charged ahead. The restaurant was approaching on my right...I couldn't turn in. I saw a huge fire truck in the parking lot....firemen buzzing all around...and there it was...her car. They were standing right by it...where was she?! Was it her?!?!?!?

I felt sick. My mind started playing tricks on me...and I started imagining horrible things.

I pulled around the corner...into the mall parking lot and back down and around so I could actually enter the parking lot to see what it was.

By the time I got back...the fire truck was pulling away...I saw my friend holding her baby inside the restaurant and I felt like 18 tons of bricks were lifted off my shoulders.

When I walked in and saw her. I started crying. Like a nutcase.

I had imagined the worst...and was completely upset by it.

Couldn't have been more relieved to see her smiling face.

Whew!

Another friend was there to meet us too...she was the one that needed the firemen. She accidentally locked her keys in her car...and the firemen were there to save the day.

Thank God for safe friends and thank God for helpful firemen.

The End.

Good or bad?

This is what video games looked like when I was a tot. For those of you who don't know this game....it is Atari's PONG. All you did was knock a block back and fourth. What riveting fun.
Think they have come far? I have no idea what game this is from....just liked the picture. Think her cyber image looks like me. Her arms, her "rack" and her inner thighs.

Back to my point.

Are video games good or bad?

I really didn't play them growing up...just at friends homes...and I had a few games on my Apple II C personal computer. Santa was GOOD to me that year.

I ask the question because my kid played her first "video game" today. On my cell phone.

It is called "Monkey Preschool"...downloaded to your phone and it has matching games, letter and number recognition, and puzzles. And it is cute. Well...cute as far as video games go.

She played it and was in love from the moment she started. It was like toddler video game crack or something...she was hooked.

"MOMMY! I need your phone!" I can't count how many times I heard that.

Indeed, she is learning matching, numbers, and problem solving skills...all to the tune of a cheering monkey.

Good thing that isn't annoying.

So, if you can download applications to your cell phone...and you have a preschooler....get Preschool Monkey.

Your kid's future SAT scores will surely benefit.

Proud moment....

Ah yes, nothing brings joy more than a graduate.

Doodle the Poodle graduated from "Beginner Puppy School" at Petsmart.

The black furry blob in the picture has on a graduation cap. You can't see the tassel...no way was I bothering with that...

So, she can now sit, lay down, shake, give five, play dead, stay, heal, "leave it", walk on a leash without pulling, run beside me when I am not to lazy and decide to jog, and"come here" on command.

If you have a dog...do this. I think it is so very worth it.

We are signing up for the intermediate training. Guess this is like college.

Oh, I am just so proud.

;)

Commitment

Gosh...no, that isn't me. I know her flat abs and tight rear had you all confused....

Commitment to exercise is not something I have ever been good at. Ever.

Last year...I trained myself to run a 5K. (Just over 3 miles) Yes, this was a huge deal for me...yes, I know...I am a wimp.

Running is ok....I don't ever go far...not enough to hurt my knees or loose toenails like hardcore marathoners do...just a little light jog here and there.

This year...I plan to do it again....and I am committing to this hot yoga business....for 1 month.

I have been 3 times now. Plan to go 4 days a week for a month. That is what is recommended...I think.

So...like everything...you have to actually do it to make it work. I have to tell myself that every time I try and exercise.

Hopefully this time...I will listen.